ALL DONE!

So it Has been over a year...a year of grueling brace tightenings, surgery, and not eating apples. But now its over!! I got my braces off about 2 weeks ago and I love the look and feel of my face! Blogging about the whole experience while going through it really helped me and I thank everyone who helped me with it! I am now the proud owner of 2 pieces of cadaver bone, 11 screws, a chin plate, and straight teeth! :D I am so happy with the final results of everyones hard work!! I hope you enjoy the new picture! I sure do!

3 weeks to go! No more BITE PLATE!

It will be 4 weeks on Wednesday!!! One Month POST-OP!!! Whooooo I made it! Yay! A lot has happened since I wrote a few weeks ago so I hope this info will be helpful for anyone considering surgery or just interested in the medical/life part. 

First off let me say that the swelling continues to go down a bit everyday. In the morning because I have switched to sleeping in bed again, and with only one pillow or none at all (thats the way I like it HA!), I have consequently woken up with a slightly swollen face. Luckily throughout the day it usually fades off around 3 or so. I got my bite plate out on Tuesday and it's amazing how different my mouth feels! I kept biting trying to figure out how it should be but now it just fits all on its own. There is so much space in there that just wasn't there before haha. It's incredible. Feels so odd to have my teeth together but it's great I love it! I just shove food in to my mouth and suck or swallow so no biting yet but in 3 weeks I can chew!! Oh and I stopped the antibiotics after 10 days so that was really nice. To anyone having surgery I would suggest taking fish oil and making sure you use plenty of bacitracin or vaseline on your face and lips. The fish oil seemed to really help my skin stay flexible as did the vaseline. And despite what your doctor may tell you it feels way better to sleep in a chair the first week than to lay down. Even now after about a month, it hurts to put my face below my heart. Also, as a sure way to make sure you are getting enough calories (that is hugely important!) I would suggest eating pudding everyday! Not only is a sweet treat but I never really got tired of it. Chocolate doesn't taste very good the first few days though so make sure you get some vanilla! BOOST or Ensure with protein is good. Its hard to get enough of that when you can't chew. So just be careful and listen to what your body tells you. Everyone is different and no one thing always works for every person. 

Okay okay. So what have I really been up to?? Well, I have been reading a ton. It's fantastic! Out at school and when I am not recovering there are so many other important things to do that it is sometimes hard to find time to read anything for just fun. That's one thing I wish I was better at. I generally find time to read a book a month but I wish I could do better than that. Right now I have it down to a book every week or two weeks depending on the book. Haha. 

So what am I reading? Well I have read "Eat. Pray. Love.", 4 Ensigns (church magazines not books but whatever!), a lot of text online about my hobbies like accupressure & massage & palm reading -so fun and interesting! Right now I am delving into my parents and grandparents collection of books on gospel topics  and a few on the art of womanhood and what exactly that means. I am learning a lot which is the best part. What I find the most interesting is that I am reading these books for married women and they are actually fairly applicable to any and every woman...not just the married woman. Like in this book I am finishing up called "Fascinating Womanhood", Helen Andelin points out the differences between the needs and wants of men and women and what attracts us to each other. It's really good. If you are a married woman...I guess I do believe this book could possibly save your marriage, if you aren't married well its a good read and its just good stuff to know. Sure helps me in my relationships with my brothers, cousins, friends, and Dad just to know what they need.  Next up is my second read of "The 5 Love Languages". I loved this book the first time because it really helped me realize what I needed and expected of those who love me. I also further discovered ways to figure out what their love languages are so that I could more easily communicate my love to them. We are very complex beings, us humans. We have a capacity to really care about others and where a lion might just fight to protect his pride, a man might try to and successfully make a compromise. We have the responsibility and challenge to think.

Anyway, I have also recently taken up yoga again. I missed it terribly. It makes morning meditations much easier as well as provides a peaceful but serious work out if you do it right. Admittedly because of my face I have avoided going into advanced downward dog positions or hand and head stands like scorpion however I hope to take those up again starting in November or December. Whenever I can actually dive off my dad's shoulders and not feel my face throb all night afterwards...then I will again take on scorpion and perhaps more serious cliff diving. haha. Currently I just jump off...no diving. The head below the heart thing just gets to me. So really I have just been taking it easy and trying to let my body heal as naturally as possible. I give into pain meds when it starts to hurt bad enough otherwise a heated rice pack works great! 

Hope all of you are having a fun time wherever you are and whatever you are doing! If you get a chance I would suggest that you take 5 minutes at night or in the morning and just sit somewhere it is quiet and just smile. It will feel dorky at first but I promise that if you find a comfortable position and just sit like that for 5 minutes at the beginning or close of your day you will feel a lot happier. According to tradition in Bali, The Smiling brings good spirits around and good energy into your body and soul. And where there is a lot of good the bad cannot come. So...i offer these words with a prayer of happiness and contentment or at the very least learning, with love

Abby

P.S. If you are looking at my pictures if you know my sister you may notice that with my operation I look more like her than ever! I am happy to say that too because my sister is truly gorgeous inside and out. She is a good woman.  

Days 5 & 6....you won't believe this!!

Pictures *****: the 2nd two are from yesterday and the top 2 are from today!! YAY

Day 5 (Monday August 31, 2009)

So yesterday I got up way later than normal. I woke up at around 7 and was doing stuff by 8. The scary/annoying thing was I woke up writhing in pain because I hadn't had pain meds in 7 hours. That blew! Not even kidding I feel like someone was sawing my jaw right then and there. Sad day, but it got better. Now out at school and stuff I know thats pretty normal for me during the week, and on weekends to sleep in until around 10 or 11. However, since having surgery I have been averaging about 5 hours of sleep a night, with several naps during the day. Normally i sleep from 12-5 which is alright because I take my antibiotics every 6 hours so midnight and 6, noon, and 1800. Yup yup early early. I made my first smoothie since having my operation. I know thats hard to believe but seriously! I have no idea why I didn't do that earlier. 

I made a strawberry and peach smoothie with a bit o honey and milk. Extremely delightful considering the circumstances. My tummy loved me all day for it. I also finished watching The Lion King...What a frikin fantastic movie. I am so excited to say that I think I love it as much now as when I was 1/4 my age. When I was 5 though, my favorite characters were definitely timon and pumba. Duuude I love em!! HAKUNA MATATA!! "what a wonderful phrase..." thats so true. No worries man. "You gotta put your past behind ya" ~Timon. I completely agree. Ya know all things happen for a reason and we just have to discover that reason or accept that its happened and then we can move on and gain the most from it. Its funny, and satisfying, to be able to look back at almost everything in my life good and bad, and see that everything happened for some awesome reason that I can pretty much understand today. There are some things that I honestly do not like accepting but I know that one day I will understand, or not, and thats ok. Anyway, back to what I was saying before haha. Now my favorite character for sure is Rafiki. Did you know that in swahili rafiki means friend. I don't remember when I learned that but I like it, and love him! Haaha. "A santesana squashed banana, hmmm, hmm, hmmm, hmm, hmmm, hmm, hmmmm, hmm" haha. I love it. And he does a lot of what I want/like/wish i could do. Meditation, spiritual, open to revelation, close to the earth, he is wise, funny as all get out, and hey he's a baboon. I think if I weren't a human I could be a baboon, or an otter. haha. fun stuff. 

Well yesterday I also realized that I could kinda smile!! YAY! I ate some soup. Made up my actual bed with raised head, and then fell dead asleep. 

Day 6

Tomorrow it will have been a week since surgery!! I almost don't believe it. This means only 5 more weeks to go, and I can already eat soup, cottage cheese, smoothies, peas, yogurt, soaked pieces of bread, and pudding. Hahaha. YAY! I can actually eat a few more things than that but today I went to the store with my mom to make sure I will have a few of those things around. I have lost about 5 pounds which I guess I am ok with but since I really don't want to lose any more weight I got some BOOST Plus at the HEB. Chocolate tastes really weird right now so I am strictly a vanilla girl for the time being. I am hoping that some how I will get the recommended amount of  calories in the next few weeks because I am told it will speed healing and give me the energy I need to get back to doing normal activities. I am starting a food journal tomorrow to keep track of my intake and make sure that I really am getting enough fluids and calories!! I am excited. I have never really had one before, except for like 2 weeks when I started being a vegetarian the first time. Funny how that worked out. Two of my friends started it with me and then I held it for about a year and they dropped the diet after 2 months. Now they are both vegan, vegetarians, and I eat meat. haha. Love life man! I also got some goober grape, mango juice, V8 juice (i really miss my vegetables!!!!!), and a few cans of broccoli cheese, and chicken & stars soups. :D I am now the definition of a happy camper!! 

Today I woke up so late. I went to bed at midnight and got up at 1pm. CRAZZY! You know what bothered me the most....I missed a dose of my antibiotics!! Ugh. Its ok though. I woke up not in pain just bugged by the fact that I slept so late and wouldn't have time enough to get every thing done I needed to today. For example, since I still can't talk coherently on the phone I needed my momsy or grandparents to call the doc to schedule an appt but my grandparents were gone and my momsy was busy until 2:45 and we went to the store at 3 and didn't get out until 4. Sad. The clinics I need appts at close at 4 so we couldn't call today. Luckily we can call tomorrow!! :) I just hope that my post-op is on thursday haha. That ones really important. They said they might remove my outer stitches on thursday. There are two dark spots on my face with a blue thread stickin out and those are my stitches. Then inside I have stitches all along the bottom of my lip...thats why it is so swollen. Well after getting back from HEB I was exhausted! But I still had to make mashed potatoes for dinner, and I did eat some yumm. 

After only one week the swelling is down so much it's incredible. At the store today some people stared at me and gave me looks and it seemed as if they were trying to figure out if and what was wrong with me. haha. I have bruises and discoloration still and the stitches and swelling. haha. I can only imagine what they thought. 2 People were totally shocked when I actually spoke aahaha. Like I said I am not very coherent and I wouldn't be surprised if they thought I was retarded or something. When the missionaries were over this last week one asked if I had wisdom teeth out. Thats kinda flattering but also the only people really think of when they see a person my age with swelling in the face and ground up food in a dish. haha. I didn't eat in front of them. That would have been unkind. Now my eating is better and I can just drink normally. haha. I used to slurp and suck and lot to get it to my throat haha. Ewww. Jane said it made her feel sick to be around me when I ate. Hahaha. I really am sorry about that but that was the only way I figured out how to eat. I am glad to say is a lot more normal with fewer sound effects. 

Well I am still very tired even after a 3 hour nap following dinner. It's only 11 here but I think I will take another nap until 12, or go talk with my momsy and grandparents for a while. Antibiotics...I tell ya. Need my sleep so. Goodnight all. Hope you have had a great first two days of school at BYU or elsewhere, or just had a ton of fun living your life in whatever beautiful place you are blessed to be in. Seriously, I could live the rest of my life traveling the world because every place has something beautiful and unique to offer. At any rate HAVE FUN and make sure that you tell at least one person every day that you love them, laugh really big twice, and smile at three people you don't know. Everyday. Do that and you will change the world by adding a little bit more love into it. And the world could use a little more love everyday. 

with smiles and hopes, and dreams.

~Abby 

 

Day 4

Today I have been a sunday snoozer. I slept so much today its crazy! Granted I needed every moment of it and am grateful for the time that I had. Ooooo and great news!! I have a new ability!! I can close my mouth!! YAY!!!! Before today I had been oozing and of course drooling like a mad person but today I can close and hold my mouth shut. I took pictures! Oh and I can kind of smile haha.  I mean at least it doesn't hurt to laugh as much now...man did I forget how funny the lion king is. Tarzan too. I watched a few disney movies today with my brother who also stayed home sick from church. 

I also discovered that the reason everything tastes weird is because the inside of my mouth is peeling. All that dead skin from surgery and such, is peeling off. I deal with peeling the skin off my lips every day now but its better since the swelling is down...but the inside, that makes me nervous. Luckily I have a tongue scraper which I have been using religiously the past two days. Thats as gross as it gets for today except that I think I have discovered stitches in my lower lip. I suppose that only makes sense but I just didn't realize what all was going on in there until today. 

My caloric intake today was much better than yesterday considering all I managed to get down yesterday was a yogurt cup, 2 cup of apple juice, 1 cup cranberry juice, and 1 cup chicken broth. No nearly enough for a day. But today haha, I stuffed down a vanilla Boost, several cups of water and juices, and spaghettios!! I have this idea that if I can fit it in my mouth, its soft enough you could gum it, then i can eat it! Tomorrow I get to have a smoothie and soup! yay! Honestly, I thought that this whole liquid/soft food diet would get old really fast but its not that bad. I eat less and sometimes what I eats tastes kinda funky but its not all that bad. At least its not all soupy...I mean I can eat cottage cheese! My favorite thing so far though is definitely yogurt, and I have never liked yogurt. haha. Tomorrow or Tuesday I get to go to the store and get some soft foods that I want!! YAY! I am so excited. I think I am going to get a lot of creamy soups. I am kinda tired of ground up foods. Hopefully my taste buds and mouth will get with the program and start letting me enjoy most of my food again. Who knows? 

Daddykins left today for Colorado, and he won't be back until Thursday. At the rate I am healing though, my swelling should be down far enough by Thursday that only those who know me well will know that I am swollen. That's what the doc said on Wednesday when I left the hospital. Bruising may continue to get worse but thats alright, I think its kinda cool. I have more battle scars haha. My grandpa made a comment today about how many pictures I have been taking of myself. But really can ya blame me? When in my life will my face and neck be like this again?? Hopefully never again but thats the point. I have to document. haha. It's kinda fun and it gives me something to do. 

Well thats it for tonight...i need to get some sleep. Have fun and thanks for reading. And remember to live happily, tell those who matter that you love them dearly, and have a few good belly laughs everyday. It helps. :D 

Day 3...oozing bruises

Holla!!

I am feeling quite a bit better today. After 72 hours the swelling is definitely down. Thank goodness. All that pressure on my poor little face just hurt. Don't get me wrong, I am still fairly swollen but I can sorta smile now. Laughing hurts like crazy though, so I have to really watch it when I am around my dad. He calls what I do "inserting" rather than "eating"  and his description of it gets me every time. I just crack up. I am so easy to make fun of and I actually don't mind it as long as its all in good fun. 

Even though the swelling is going down my jaw is ever more painful. I think it has something to do with the fact that the swelling cushioned my face and now that its going down my face, neck, and chest are showing more bruising and hurting more. My bottom lip swelling is even down!!! That makes me so excited. Today i about caused my grandpa to have a heart attack when I leapt for joy because I took a drink of chicken broth without 1)using my finger to hold up my lip and 2) I didn't spill all over myself!! Oh yeah baby! Progress!!! I didn't eat much today though. I was sleeping and hurting and feeling drowsy and dizzy most of the day. I must make up for that tomorrow. Good news moment! I am maintaining my weight at 115 so far!! That makes me so  happy because honestly losing tons of weight would be neither healthy or comfortable right now. I have noticed that my legs are getting thinner and that worries me because they are small  enough. I am bloated because of all the meds and liquids but I am sure that will sort itself out like everything else. 

Right now I can hear my dad playing music downstairs and it makes me think about when I was little and he would do that when I was trying to fall asleep. :)  I love being home. Jane left this morning and now I am a tad bit more lonely but its all good I know that I have people around that love me and want to help me get better so I am content where I am. P.S. sleeping on a recliner isnt nearly as awful as it sounds, and when lying down completely hurts, well a recliner is like a dream bed. 

Have fun! Hakuna Matata

Day 2...heat packs yay!

Hello all,

I am glad to report that with my recent discover that I can take percocet every 4 hours, that my pain is very much decreased from yesterday. Not only that but it's also good to know that I have to take antibiotics every 6 hours. Today I found out that ground up enchiladas are actually pretty tasty when you add sour cream and hot picante sauce to them! I was thinking while eating my yummy ground up bread pudding, about the one thing I really wanted to eat instead of bread pudding. I had been thinking about Enchiladas, one of my top favorite foods. Lo and behold, thats what we had for dinner, and I didn't even say a word to momsy about my secret food desires. 

Today I made the switch from cold/ice packs to heat. Unfortunately the heat makes my face and skin swell even more...vasodilation...ugh. On the flip side, my face and neck muscles are loving the heat. They relax which in turn lessens the tension on and around my face, which lowers my pain level significantly. Also, the futon couch is way more comfortable than the brown couch I was sleeping on last night so I am excited for a more comfortable nights sleep. I know the docs said that I could lay down to sleep but ya know, that just hurts. Laying down hurts, even half laying down kinda hurts. Too much pressure on my face. So this isn't the most relaxing and chill surgery to recover from in the whole world  but hey, at least I can still pretend to eat normally. Granted I have little control over my bottom lip (because it is huge!!) which makes eating and especially drinking incredibly difficult. I have managed however to find ways to push my lip against the glass so that I do not spill everywhere!! YAY! The first time I did it I literally patted myself on the back. I was so happy! Which reminds me, mom kept bugging me all day yesterday about my hair and how it needed to be washed. Today, I took a bath and washed my hair all by myself. haha. Its funny that, that fact makes me so happy. It was a task indeed. My head was throbbing and I felt really weak but I did it. My hair is clean. 

Want to know something kinda cool?? My jaw/chin was moved forward 13mm. THATS CRAZY! Really awesome actually! I am really excited to see what it all looks like when the swelling goes down. Good news though, it should start decreasing tomorrow!! Dad leaves on a business trip for a few days this week and I am hoping that by the time he gets back I will be able to talk more normally. Everyone asks me what part hurts the most. To be quite frank, all of it. Everything just hurts differently. Bone pain sucks and really that is the most intense pain that I feel. I mean really I have 3 screws in each side of my jaw plus new bone!! This pain is eased by the motrin and percocet though which believe me without them I would be writhing in pain most of the time. Then on top of that there is the muscular pain in my neck and face, thats just completely different. It hurts but can be soothed fairly easily by light massage, heat, etc. The most annoying and terrible looking part of it all, is the swelling. The swelling hurts like I don't even know what! I feel like my bottom lip has been stretched out over my head and around down by my feel then left to swell up. Ugh! It hurts. Heat kinda helps soothe the swelling pain but it also makes it worse. Ice worked so well but now Ice is hurting my muscles so thats a no go. So all in all, yes it hurts really bad, but then again not as bad as I had imagined so I am quite happy with the results. yay!! 

This is Jane's last night here and I am sad to see her go. I miss her when shes not around. Even when she is just down stairs I miss her and wonder where she is. Haha. I think its separation anxiety. We have never been separated this long in our entire friendship of 9 almost 10 years and so now that we are back together after a long year its like I don't want to let her go again. But she must and I must stay here. Thats life. Asi es la vida. Its good too, I am glad we have had time together though and that she was here for my surgery. I had my hospital buddy with me there. yay!! But hey I had better go take a nap or something...goodnight my dear friends and family, and followers haha

Remember to smile because all a frown really does is bring other people down, and when you look in the mirror if thats what you see than you keep yourself down. Smile and remember that everyday is worth living. Something good and important is supposed to happen for you every single day. 

Life is Good

Day 1...OBESE Cheeks

Holla! Today is Day One after surgery. I am doing better than yesterday but my face is HUGE!! I am more swollen than yesterday and will be even more swollen tomorrow. Crazy! After tomorrow though, the swelling should go down. I can't even begin to explain how happy I will be once the swelling goes down. My bottom lip is huge! It hurts so bad! And every now and then my mouth will still bleed but at least m not constantly bleeding like yesterday. 

But before I begin talking about today I think I should mention a few things about last night. At about 3 am my IV got bent somehow and I had to get another one. It took about 4 tries to get a new IV and I just kept ice on my face all night. Since it took so long to get another IV, I got to talk to the techs and stuff for a while which took my mind off how uncomfortable my face felt. After another little while I was able to finally fall asleep! Thank goodness! 

This morning my docs stopped by and checked my bite. I can bite all the way down without it hurting too bad so they decided not to band up my teeth! YAY! Then once I could swallow most of what I shoved into my mouth and keep it down, well I was able to come home. So here I am. I have antibiotics, percocet, motrin 800 mg tabs, bacitracin for my lips, and mouthwash...since I can't brush for a few more days. Right now I'm watching Forrest Gump and chillin on the couch. I hope I will be able to get some pea soup down for dinner. Luckily that will be good tasting and followed by water shouldn't hurt too much. And hey tonight I can play mormon bridge to keep my mind off the swelling. Really, it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks like it would. Thats the good part. Anyways, I am going to go eat! Wish me luck! Enjoy the pics. Today is only Day One and swelling and bruising are still getting worse. By tomorrow night I believe that my neck will be completely bruised. Looking forward to the next few days, things will only get better!!

Thanks again for all the love and well wishes! I appreciate all of the support! It helps me stay focussed and remember that this part will not last forever. I had imagined all of this hurting a lot more too! At least I can handle it though. The med tech I had watchin me this morning saw me in regular clothes when I checked out and complemented my figure sayin I looked good and that this surgery is probably only going to make things better all around. Haha. A few of em said that I must be really pretty without the swollen cheeks. That made me feel better, I must admit. Well, I'm headin out for the night. Have a good one and dream of good days and belly laughs. 

~Abby